July 1, 2008
LOS ANGELES: Twenty-four women claiming to be former wives of Osama bin Laden have become US citizens and recently married each other.

Twelve separate ceremonies have been quietly handled since California made it legal for gay women to marry. All of them chose to be anonymous and they all had a lot to say. "Mr. 'Kill the Great Satan' was handsome when I was 11 and he was on tv all the time, but he's a lousy father, a poor lover and a mean drunk. I discovered that his 8th wife was more my type. We couldn't do anything about it in Afghanistan, but America is for lovers."

All the newlyweds had similar stories. "Tora Bora is a good place to raise kids. They can run free, fire guns, practice blowing themselves up and scream death threats all they want. Yet something was missing. I didn't mind sharing 'Sama with the other wives, and his obsession with small boys is part of the wahhabi culture. At the end, it was just that we wanted to take a hot shower in the morning, and see their faces over breakfast. Being able to drive is a plus."

It is not known how many women or boys are part of bin Laden's harem, or if he noticed the absence of the women now legally married in the US. The marriages were witnessed by Homeland Security. Most of the children are staying with their mothers, but some are being placed in Texas foster care or put up for adoption in Mexico.