The daughter of Zeus and Leda had been kidnapped and forced to marry Menelaus but Aphrodite promised Helen to Paris and love is fickle. "Helen went from being a women of mass distraction to being a weapon of mass destruction, and both should be carefully considered before launching a thousand ships."

Religious leaders differ over which gods are angry and which are merely confused, and about whom. Legal scholars disagree with Papoon's interpretation and cite Spartan marriage law to demonstrate her bigamy. Feminist rabble-rousers have their own interpretation. The Papoon campaign is trying to reach out to the "Seduced Wife On Second Marriage" demographic while establishing a strong foreign policy. The press release, smelling vaguely of lilac, continued, "Our friends in Turkey are part of NATO now, and this can be projected back to Homeric times. The Greeks may have won the Trojan War, but their territorial ambition was short lived. There's a lesson in that for us all."