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July 2, 2008
FLORIDA: George Papoon, Surrealist party candidate for president,
brought his own patriotism into question when he named
his campaign boat the "Jonathan Swift."
"Papoon really swift-boated himself with this one," said
recently departed political observer Tim Russert. "I can't
think of a similar candidate shooting himself in the
foot like this."
Papoon was quick to backpedal; "This is not a swift boat,
it's a 'Swift' boat," he emphasized at a news conference.
With Papoon's phonics switch on, news reporters could not
distinguish between swift boat and 'Swift' boat.
"It's like that song, 'You say tomato and I say tomato',
except you're saying 'tomato' the same way each time"
complained many-eyed political observer Tim Potato.
The news conference was called off.
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