June 30, 2008
WSHINGTON: Senators David Vitter (R-LA), and Larry Craig (R-Id) have signed on to sponsor a new proposed Federal Marriage Amendment.

"We have to keep marriage sacred!" said Vitter, who had sex with hookers while married. "And keep it for heterosexuals only!" added Craig, who made homosexual advances in a Minneapolis men's room. "This is like shooting fish in a barrel, with the barrel being wheeled right to my desk, and the shotgun attached!" said TALONNEWS head writer Jim Neener.

As Karl Marx (or was it Groucho?) said, "History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce"